syndromes not found in the textbooks

syndromes not found in the textbooks

June 10, 2011  |  life, main blog, philosophy

Do these four syndromes resonate with you? Family fun and embellishment over time has seen them take on a life beyond their original application.

1.       PCS – post church syndrome

An hour in church will probably bring it on – Sunday School backed up by church will guarantee it! When released, the urge to charge around like a rabbit released from a burrow, or to drive people crazy with incessant babble and nonsense, seems to prevail. As kids we had PCS most Sundays. And we still get PCS! Now it seems to come on after a long meeting, the completion of a report or project, or on a long road trip. I guess it’s a bit like TGIF. It’s all about release and liberation, in contrast to captivity and discipline.

2.       FNCS – First night conference syndrome

Conferences – internal to the work place or external – bring an opportunity to reflect and also connect. Given the anticipation of such an event it’s not uncommon that the first night can be a big one. Clean livers and the excitement of the few days ahead, catching up with colleagues is a precursor to FNCS. How many of us have been to an event and blamed our lack of subsequent sharpness on FNCS? Of course we see FNCS extended more widely including Friday night drinks, family reunions and travel experiences. In September my daughter is getting married – not a wedding, but a three day festival. I’ve threatened to wear a policeman’s hat with “FNCS” written on it to ensure that enthusiastic Friday night revelry doesn’t compromise the big day.

3.       CPAS – Car park attendant syndrome

Without wishing to diminish the role of car park attendants, there are some who, when given a hi-vis vest, assume extraordinary assertiveness. Ok mate, we can see where you’re pointing! We’ve all seen doses of CPAS with others in uniform and positions of authority. In all organisations there seem to be some “blockers” with CPAS, who seem to get off on the power given them by the position, rather than pursuing higher level or agreed team objectives.  What is it about authority that corrupts judgement?

4.       FNS – Fred Nile syndrome

Have you ever been preached to about matters of consumption by someone on a new diet or who has given up the grog or the smokes? How about someone sitting in moral judgement taking a “holier than thou” position? Perhaps we’re giving Fred too much publicity by naming this syndrome after him. To Christian Fred , “Gays are immoral, the Greens anti-family, and there should be a ten year ban on Muslim migration”. Hmmm. Well, there are a few other people we all know who have bouts of FNS as their prejudices surface, or as their moral high ground allows them to assert it on others.

What other syndromes have you identified and would like to share?


  1. Gee You’ve Put On Weight Syndrome
    They poke you in he stomach and say “what are you going to do about that”
    They tell you how far they have just run/walked and ask” what do you do ” .
    They never eat cake(and tell you). Of course they have just a half scotch before dinner! They don’t wear Speedos(and I do) They are rude and insensitive and they make me cry. Only my wife understands.

  2. During the week another syndrome has received a lot of publicity. The clever demographer, Bernard Salt, coined the term HOT DELUSION SYNDROME (HDS), based on his observations about the behaviour of mnen in their mid 40′s. He claims that there is 15% more single females than single males in this demographic. As a result, there is a demand for men, causing some men, even fat and balding ones, to look at themselves in the mirror and harbour HDS. So funny! The consensus at a dinner party last night was that HDS transcends to men in their 50′s as well!!Anyway, apparently the concept has gone viral and Bernard’s recent book in which the idea was floated, has gone for a reprint.

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